As i'm cleaning the kitchen I came across Hunter's leaf artwork, Hunter loves to pick up sticks, rocks, and leaves. He brings them home to mommy and daddy all the time. When I go to throw them away (we have lots) instead of thinking oh how sweet and cute the thought comes to my mind to take a picture in case Hunter's dies, that was a special thing we would want to remember. I find myself doing that alot!! I cried one day when Hunter was in the truck with his daddy (in front of me), just thinking what would happen if Hunter died... i just sobbed for really no reason, Hunter was just fine with Steve. I kiss him each night after he is asleep and I wonder if even I passed away would he know how much I loved him, was I a good mom for him. Would he remember the fun times we had. Now the same fears have moved to Henry, I check him several times a night, worry if he coughs to much or if he acts different in any way I feel something really bad might be wrong. When I go out i'm really nervious having both of them, like I would forget one or someone will take one. I just can't protect them eneough. I know this isn't normal but I just fear so much, almost as if things have been too "calm" around our family maybe something terriable is going to happen. When Steve leaves the house I think will that be the last time. I just want to hug and kiss him tight each time. My eyes just start to water thinking about ANYTHING happening to the "GUYS" in my life, I love and adore them, I would give my life for them. Having them consumes my life without them I would be empty. I get overwhelmed when it comes to my mind. I have actually planned a funeral in my mind. I hope and pray this is NOT the lord trying to tell me something. Have any of you ever felt this way?? Is this a lack of faith, because I have these thoughts and fears? Please share with me, I know someone out there has the comforting words that I need.