Saturday, February 28, 2009

mommy madness....don't read if you are the "perfect mom"

O.k. so my past week... CRAZY! I will be the first to admit i'm not a perfect mom! Do you ever just sit back and think.. wow i'm not the mom I thought I would be. I thought that so much this week, the guilt of being a certain way having the perfect kid shoot just a happy kid would be great, you know all the feelings. When your kid talks back, has tantrums, throw's the dvd player at you WHILE you are driving the car... ends up in time out ALL DAY.... really is it suppose to be like this??? after some girl chats with my favoriate ladies ....I started reading this book and I love it! It is almost like a mirror on my life and the way I feel as a mom and wife. The guilt and frustration I feel sometimes is overwhelming and makes me sad, I have just cryed to sleep some nights just not understanding what i'm doing so wrong... why i'm not a better mom. So I just have to REGROUP, that is what I have come up with! Why as woman do we compare and feel guilty!??! I compare myself to so many other WONDERFUL woman that are such amazing moms. How do they do it?! How is there "ship" running so smoothly? Well after reading the latest chapter "let go of the guilt". I really have started to breathe again. Feel like this is me.. my life.. my child.. and our family and how we do things.. sometimes it isn't perfect but it is me as a mom... there are going to good and bad days. And hopefully there is always the next day to make it even better. One of the tips was..."Define yourself by your BEST moments, not your worst. Find one thing you did do right today, and focus on that".

Today is Saturday and Hunter and mommy laughed alot while I pushed Hunter on the swing... it might be something so small yet so fulfilling.. to hear Hunter laugh. I'm greatful and thank the lord for new days to try again and be that mom my little Hunter needs.
I loved the book I hope you like it also....

brief intro to the book:::;

from I Was a Really Good Mom Before I Had KidsThe Fake Cupcake Problem(Why We Needed to Write This Book)


If you’re sitting down and reading this, then you must not be having the worst day ever. Or maybe you are. Whatever kind of day you’re having—you couldn’t love your kids more, or you couldn’t be more eager to jump in your car and speed away—we’ve been there. Between us we have five kids, two husbands, two dogs, three-quarters of a career, steadily improving skills at negotiating with toddlers, and way too much stress. This book got started on one of those nights that followed one of those days—dog poop tracked into the house, wild children in the aisles of Target. Laser-eyed, we watched our clocks until 4 p.m. Then we each poured ourselves a glass of wine and picked up the phone to call each other.


As we talked, our kids tattooed one another with permanent markers and played in the dog-food bowls. Whatever—it really didn’t matter. We discussed our days, and within ten minutes we’d laughed, cried, whined about our husbands, wondered what happened to our sex drives, snapped at the kids, wished we had passions, and questioned why we sometimes felt like bad moms.



Were you a bad mom if you screamed at a four-year-old for getting up twelve times in one night? Were you a good mom if you stayed up late baking fifty cupcakes for the next day’s ballet recital? Would passing off store-bought cupcakes as homemade really be a terrible offense?
Meanwhile we were trying to turn the three ingredients in our respective refrigerators into some semblance of dinner. And our husbands, who’d finally come home, were looking at us cross-eyed for yet again being on the phone. Granted, blabbing while the kids trashed the house might not have looked so good from their position. But immediately hanging up to resume our roles as moms would not have been a good idea, either. These phone chats were our salvation.

5 comments:

Happy said...

Okay, have you been reading my mind lately??? Wow, I thought I was the only one.... Thanks for the great book idea, I'll be sure to get my hands on that asap. Thanks again!

T. Driaza said...

Count me in also! I'll be picking up a copy! I think all of us have room for improvement! Besides...according to most blogs...we all have about 2-5 bad days out of the whole year...the rest appear to be "perfect." Ha!

Lauren said...

Are you almost done? I'd love to read this book. Maybe I can borrow it...

Ingrid said...

Pass that book over here, will ya? Our home is FILLED with monkeys!

Gladys said...

We are all there with you my sweet friend....TANTRUMS, crying when we feel guilty and everything else that comes with motherhood. To us everyone elses lives look perfect, but they are in the same boat we are in. We all experience very similar things with our children and that is why we need each other.
I LOVE YOU!!